REDNECK

REDNECK
The Redneck Leonard Mountain Story:

Well, we tried to keep him hidden, but that rascally feller got wind of Leonard Mountain and so one day he came walking through the woods and says "I been a stuffing allives and now ya got to lat me sale wid yourn's". He brought his old yella dog - Dog, a nasty dog with ugly teeth too, and he was determined that we go see his olives.

From here on this is his story of how he put his delicious olives together.

This here allive stufin's real easy - see ya jus grab yerself a handful of them allives outa the big barrel and rinse 'em in the pan of water from the crik. I stufs em wid them halopenahs or the garlicks, or if I get crazy I puts the two together cuz I caint member if'n I done put somethin in that there leddle ole hole. I tosses dem thar allives in the jar and I pours some of the allive juice and some water 'n salt over 'em. I put on a lid and I sets 'em in the frigerater I gots on the porch. If'n ole Dog don't get 'em, I laks to put 'em in ma beer that I makes. Dija wanna knows how I dodat? No? mebbe another time.

Y'all kin come to the place soons I git it cleaned up, got a ole raccoon livin' wid me now, an y'know, that ole raccoon jus loves the Blu Cheeze Allives the bes. He's fight Dog for 'em.

Glad ya lak them Leonard Mountain folks, cuz they seys theys goin to sale ma allives too!

Tommy Joe Bob, The Redneck Allive Stufer Xtrodinar
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